It’s Been 10 Years

It’s been 10 years since the last time we saw your face. Since we last held you in our arms and you took your last breath.

There’s so many things that have happened since then. We met your sister, Addie, and your brother, Eli… we lost your sister Barbara Carol.

We’ve had so many good times, so many hard times since you’ve been gone. What it would be like to have you also be part of our everyday lives? In the middle of making sandwiches for school and grabbing Evan from work?

And then I think about where you really are. Healed. Fully healed. Received by the Father in heaven. Worshipping around the throne. It takes my breath away just trying to imagine it.

Grief is so weird sometimes. I’ll feel it and be proud. Proud of how we carried you. Deeply humbled of how we honored the Father and how He trusted us with your life. Other times it strikes me and I can’t breathe. I feel like you should be here and I get angry. Not angry with God, angry that we live in a fallen world fraught with disease and disaster. It has me wanting to scream “Jesus come back. We desperately need you.”

Today would be your 10th birthday Eaton. And in the middle of the wonder and grief of you being in heaven to celebrate, I’ll think about you and remember what a joy it was to carry you, to know you, to see your sweet face, and to be trusted by our Father in heaven with your sweet life.

Heaven is open.